bugg's archive
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12/18/25 8:20 AM icon blinky

owie owie owie. i was a stupid idiot and sprained my finger whilst harassing twin. i guess karma finally caught up to me. anyways im sad because i was gonna finish making christmas gifts for everyone i hadn't already made something for, but i can't squeeze my pliers very vell or pick up tiny beads. its also hard to type fast and accurately, since i normally do touch typing but thats not an option when two of my fingers are taped together. im just gonna leave it taped till i have to perform later. whatever, at least i can give people the super middle finger now. still hurts a lot though. i guess will have to just be more careful when harassing ppl now. blinky

12/19/25 8:29 AM icon blinky

what a happy joyous silly awesomesauce day. my finger is only a little bit hurting, it's rainign and i love when it rains because i love my umbrella, and i'm going home today (: i also bought christmas presents for my family last night, but still have 70 dollars left.

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1/7/27 9:27 PM icon blinky

i dont have anything interesting to say tonight. i did just eat a very scrumdiddlyumptious salad. it was lettuce with no stupid purple things, cesar dressing, trail mix that had almonds, walnuts, pecans, pepitas, sunflower seeds, craisins, then some crushed up sunchips, and reheated chicken from tacos. mixed all up. vv yummy. goodnight !!

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1/9/26 9:19 AM icon blinky

doing lots of pretty updates to the site rn ! images might not load for the next couple hours as I work and change things and get rid of ugly stuff, but the site will look super cutie when im all done ! if u actually read my stupid blogs you deserve a little kissy. mwah tysm for listening. mwah. ty. ilysm.


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1/10/26 9:41 PM icon blinky

what a lovely day for me (: got to sit at the basketball game with ppl i care about, played in the rain, got into warm cosy clothes, went shopping, ate fast food, and now i get to make cute little changes to my site ! i created and animated the little dropdown icons and im so proud of them ! im going to tippy tappy type some more and hopefully start adding tiny pixels to each blog timestamp, possibly change this page's bg, and then will go to sleep not too late so im not tired tommorrow. how lovely ! i am so happy today.

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1/11/26 4:53 PM icon border

what is up my sillies ! im sure if you haven't visited yet theres some new stuff! namely layout, scrollbars, cursors, etc etc ! there's even a new page otw and im very excited. ive been thinking maybe i should reorder these blogs, with newest entries at the top? and then should i keep all logs or delete them at a certain capacity? ive also considered adding a view counter on the site. theres one on my neocities acc but one on the site might be nice, maybe? working very hard to get the sote looking and working better becuase i love my silly club for my silly friends. mwahhhhhh !!

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1/12/26 2:56 PM icon blinky

i changed my mind i feel totally better now ! nobody hates me and i don't suck at everything. i actually had a great day. i gave ppl presents which i love, im working on the next page, im gonna do ok on the geometry final, and i ate a yummy salad today, which breaks my streak of eating nothing but noodles and toast all weekend. improvement !! im going to go home and maybe take a nap bc im a little sleepy. then tonight i'll study, download more music, maybe mess with the next page, and read. my day is not bad at all actually.

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1/12/26 8:40 AM icon blinky

today im going graphics shopping to add more images and blinkies to the site. i love looking for them and collecting them but honestly hate inserting images SOOOOOO much. its tedious and i have to command+shift+r the hell out of my browser every other minute. i need to study today or im gonna die. idk wtf a sin cos tan is. im gonna do so bad on the geometry final im so finished. finals make my stomach hurt because im nervous. also county band auditions. arguably more stressful than finals. ive onky got one ok recording. i think i should just submit it and accept theres no shot of me getting in. i hate recording myself so much. it makes me so nervous and i can't do anything i practiced. i was doing so well with it when i was practicing it myself, but as soon as the camera turns on i suck. i feel like maybe i should just quit. im never going to be as good as my section leader, and they were way better than me even at my age. i suck at my instrument. next year all my friends are graduating, and i feel like the director kinda doesn't like me, and my section leader said i'd be a terrible section leader, and i feel like i just suck. i think everyone else thinks that too but they're being nice to me because i'm retarded. i don't feel good at all right now. this is the worst time of year. christmas and new years are over and there's nothing to look forward to until spring. i asked my grandpa to please take me home for at least one weekend and he's considering it. i just feel so poorly at this time of year. boredom makes me really sad. rambling now so im just gonna go add images to my site. at least i have a cute site.

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1/13/26 9:48 AM icon blinky

stupid smelly evil finals ew. hate hate hate. i got an 83 on my gym final, a 92 on my computer science final, then i have math today as well. gonna review stuff during third period for that. yuck i hate finals. so evil. so yucky. hate. gabel gave u s new music. some is hard some is easy-ish. i had brass quintet, after school i have brass ensemble, the at 6 i have guitar. which i need to bring MY guitar to because the high e string blew clean off the guitar. it wasn't from tuning either so they're probs just old and worn out. if that one is worn i probably need all new ones. maybe i can convince horning that i have NOOOO idea how to change them so he'll do it for me while i sleep in the hallway. im so tired. will probably be super duper tired by then. mash bowl for lunch though which is good. it doesn't feel like tuesday, the week is kinda dragging already. i hate the stupid fences outside. wdym to get to the building thats 50 ft away i need to walk a quarter mile ugh i hate the stupid school for paying the construction ppl by the hour. you know full well they're going to drag this out all year. and im mad because its cold and i don't want to trek the appalachian trail and sail the seven seas to get from hammond to fisher. so stupid. anyways working on the new page, probs by the weekend it'll be up. i'll still be making chanegs like i do for all the pages, but i'd like it to be up. the button for it is going to be hidden so only those of you that actually lurk and scour the site can find it. it's supposed to be like a dump of my nerd interests because i'm an obsessive autistic loser tranny with no job and unlimited free time. im wondering if i should take web design next year? im half thinking i'll enjoy and learn from it, but im also afraid it'll be way to base level and i'll be bored out of my mind if i already know the material? it could be an easy a though so im def considering it. not in an arrogant way, im obviously not the best webdev ever, and have no backend knowledge, but idk how in depth or detailed it'll be just for a high school elective. if anyone has taken the class lmk how it is.

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1/14/26 12:14 PM icon icon

i feel really lame today. i left my spray bottle at the sh today, and my hair has gone flat and i look super stupid, it's touching my forehead and is sensory hell, but looks stupider when i try to move it away. i have no afterschool activities today, so im going to put my hair up after fifth period, hide my stupid self under my umbrella and walk home. i'll put it in a bandana then so it stops touching me. i hate being autistic and wish i was bald. if my family wasn't transphobic i'd just buzz it. very annoyed today with my stupid hair. and i have to deal with it during my test next period. i feel like a stupid chud. overall a bad day for bugg. now that im done whining, im somewhat satisfied with the state of the next page abd might link it to a secret button. my next project after that will be a fortune cookie. i will not elaborate.

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1/15/26 9:21 AM icon icon guess who's NOT a loser chud and made it to county band? me me its me!! im actually so pleasantly suprised. i turned in that video, pretty much giving up and acceptign i wouldn't make it, but i got a 70.0/100 and made 4th trumpet, second chair. is this dead last? yes. is it better than i expected? very much yes. how lovely. icon
1/15/26 1:44 PM icon icon
I JUST MADE THE COOLEST THING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! i have a functioningn digital fortune cookie! when you hover it has a golden glow, when you click it opens the cookie and gives you a message! gonna add more messages but im so proud of it! yay!
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1/16/26 9:14 AM icon icon
now that the cookie is done im kind of bored. tried embedding a white board to the site but everything sucks or isn't working. im kind of lost on ideas now that ive got so much i wanted to do out of the way. i can try to fix the homepage navbar, but even that's dull. i'll probably look at some other sites for inspo today. maybe i can add maxwell's minecraft paintings. probably work with my same image changing animation i made for the other page and just use a transparent image as the second image instead of another solid one. i think i'll make a new page for that. but then layout. i absolutely abhor making layouts. so much so i actually used a premade template for the secret page. whatever. something something indie web sharing spirit etc etc. i'll probably just mash images into a grid and put ascii images behind them by just making divs or something with text inside and putting images with a higher z index on top. it sounds ok theoretically but it's going to get really annoying, repetitive, and tedious reallt fast. my tummy hurts and i just want it to be the weekend so i can rot and eat and sleep like the unemployed chudling i am.
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1/16/26 1:35 PM icon icon

i might have gotten my first website commision/art trade kind of? it's not a settled deal yet, but very exciting nonetheless. if this works out and doesn't burn me out into oblivion, i may consider taking commissions for real. it'll give me something to do and be rewarding, so if it all works out well it could be a decent side hustle. first project though has to be making an archive page for all my old blog entries. because there's too many 0: !


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1/18/26 2:44 PM icon icon

feeling really lame and not great today. won't be many updates. it's seasonal and i'll be alr eventually, just need time. there's a link where im gonna move old blog entries, as well as reordering these ones. nothing fun so check another day. sorry to be bland but just not feeling well

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1/18/26 9:33 PM icon icon

link is up on the sidebar for old entires. gonna keep this page limited to ten for better load times and stuff.

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1/19/26 9:08 AM icon icon

cold cold cold cold cold. very cold. however im finally done with this blasted semester but ofc we're the only school that still has class today, yeah just casually ignoring that it's a federal holiday. whatever. im absolutely starving today? and for once i ate this morning.

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1/19/26 8:37 PM icon icon

something i should really work on is not assuming everyone hates me and that im a loser at any minor inconveinence. thats probably not how you spell that.but maybe i should idk do less? of everything? the only way i avoid the seasonal sad is by not letting myself have a spare moment to think about anything, but i think that overloading myself with projects and making them super public in hopes it'll keep me accountable is actually just making me burnt out and irritable. i got upset with some of my close friends today, and reacted poorly to an irritant i can normal handle, and ive been noticing it a lot lately. i think with the new semester i should focus more on a few set, solid goals every week rather than doing everything always all the time without breaks. i'm proud of my site, but it's not feeling fun right now. it might be time for a break soon. that doesn't mean full stop no edits, but it might mean slowing down a lot. i especially need to stop putting quotas for new content on myself. this is meant to be slower paced. treating this like a content farm defeats the point. whatever maybe im rambling.

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1/21/26 7:27 PM icon icon

not many updates lately. been very busy with the new semester and very tired. maybe some more contetnt when i'm more accustomed to my new schedule and workload.

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1/26/26 9:19 PM icon icon

hello hello hello. i got my belly button pierced! it hurt! but im so swag now! also my guitar finally got shipped. thinking about making an alien themed page for the site? is that lame? idk i like aliens. might even experiment with some hand drawn graphics. ive got some stored up that might be super cute. but that means graphic shopping which means some space between updates to the site. whatever it's my site and i dont have a quota to meet!

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1/28/26 9:19 PM icon icon

i've been slacking lately with updates. its ok cuz i have lots of other things to work on. scholastic art and wrinting awards came out today. i got two honorable mentions and one silver. i should be happy i won anyting at all with the poor quality work i submitted, but it is what it is. its nowhere near last year's level. i was kinda sad and got lazy around the deadline. it is what it is i guess. its embaarrassing though.

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1/29/26 9:20 PM icon icon

the unemployment jokes are kinda funny, but im actually really eager to work. i hope i get hired. i need money to save for top surgery, plus just money in general. someone somehow tried to use my card to buy something on amazon, and it was ok cuz it declined, but it declined a 20 dollar purchase because there was only a dollar in my account. it worked out fine and i locked the card, but that's highkirkenuinely so pathetic ): to whatever broke ass who tried to steal from me, sorry we're in the same boat ):

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1/30/26 10:07 AM icon icon

its cold. and im always hungry in the mornings because my houseparents stopped cooking breakfast, which is bad. i used to get scrambled eggs twice a week, and no al li get is rice crispies and cinnamon toast. i am so sad and hungry. also i hate stupid teachers that think theyre funny. you are UNFUNNY and SMELLY and please leave me alone. i am tired and will not be doing anything today except play my instrument and go home because i am tired. maybe if someone i care about is going to the basketball game, i will take a brief nap and go there. however i am tired and annoyed. and kids are mean. the kids in chemistry laugh at me when i answer the questions. why do they do that? i answer all of them correctly and i dont laugh at them when they answer wrong. and they're always wrong because they are super stupid and smelly. i hate evil juniors. frowny face.

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2/6/26 9:17 AM icon icon

hello guys. went on hiatus for like a week but we're back!! i get really sad and nervous in the wintertimes so i might be slower with updates until spring. things are ok enough right now that im back to work! speaking of work, i got a job! and passed my swim test! yay yay yippee!!! also stopped drinkng coffee for a while which is helping with the nervousness. im not doing great but im choosing to be silly and happy as i can. whenever i get sad y friends also get sad which is not good. so im super locked in!! very sleepy without coffee though. trying my very best because i love my friends very much. working on an alien themed page and an about me page as well! yay! these will occupy my time and hopefully keep me busy enough to not get sad till spring. spring is great bc its sunny. not being able to play outside makes me sad. last year wasn't so bad because i had musical to keep me busy. job though! money up funny down! ok my funny is still up. i hope it gets springy soon!!!!

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2/9/26 12:32 PM icon icon

cooking up some lovely updates! new pages are still in progress but layouts are done and the pages themselves are linked on buggs corner. this is the most productive ive been in almost a month. hopefully the happy stays with me so i don't start slacking again. seasonal depression is a BITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ARGHHHHHHHHHH GO AWAY

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2/10/26 8:38 PM icon border today is a jolly day! maybe tommorow will be jollier!!! ive finished making my valentines gift for my potential valentine. she made me something as well!!! i hope she says yes to my proposition. thank you universe for coming together to create pretty girls ohmigawsh. shes making me cookies and something else she said. i got her some chocolates and made her a stuffed heart with dried lavender so it smelss nice and i sewed it up its very cute. and it's got a wire swirly. so cutie. and a bracelt i made her with red which is her favorite color. woah thank jeezus for pretty girls. ohmygawsh. going home tmmrw yayyy!!1!! much love to my silly web lurkers. a kiss!! mwah!!! border
2/11/26 10:00 AM icon border
TODAY IS NOT JOLLY BECAUSE I FRIGGIN FORGOT TO GRAB HER THING ON THE WAY OUT UGHHHHH AND I LEFT MYSELF LIKE A THOUSAND REMINDERS UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH however! she did give me the gifts she made me and they are so cute!!! and she left me the sweetest note!! and the prettiest drawings!!! gawsh!! by golly! she said its alr that i forgot but i feel like such a dumb chud. i had it IN MY HANDS ugh. so evil. my houseparents rushed us all out for no freaking reason im so annoyed. leeyar said she'd deliver it but i want to do it today!! i was so excited. im mad at myself.
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2/17/26 8:17 AM icon border

what a jolly day! nothing bad has happened to me yet! yay!

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2/19/26 9:16 AM icon border

what's up geeks!! i've been renovating this page (: its pink snakeskin and cool now. the old one was starting to fry my eyeballs with how bubblegum blue it was. overall having an extremely mediocre day. made some sketties to eat tmmrw. got county band tmmrw and saturday. gonna be super tired after tommorrow but im still gonna go to the game afterwards. it ends at 4 and i gotta go to the game at 7. will prbs take a little sleepy nap b4 i go. jeepers, what a long week. much love to you nerds that acc read this. hearts. love love love yous.

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2/22/26 12:34 PM icon border

hellur freakz. im in the midst of writing my stupid gilgamesh essay. lowkenuinely feel like im in hell though because idk i just cant sit down and do tasks. i was working in the basement and it was going great until the whole student home decided they wanted to come down there and play ps4 games at maximum volume. so i left and im in a boring chair which makes it hard to do the task and my hps are chatting up a storm so theres nowhere quiet to work. its due tommorow and this highkey upsetting. i want to get it done but i can't work unless im in the very specific environment that lets me get stuff done and its so frustrating. i put a hard deadline of getting back to work at 2pm but idk. i cant work in my room bc im not allowed. and my housemates are so loud. music was working but then got distracting. i hate this. im gonnsa work so hard just for my teacher to hate my essay anyways. i should drop out of school or at least honors. like ik i can do it, i have the highest reading psat score in my grade and probably top 3 in the school. im not stupid but this makes me feel really dumb. and it's so easy for kids that i know aren't as smaret as me to just sit down and get work done.

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2/24/26 8:20 AM icon border
i posted the site on my main story. traffic went up which is cool.friendly reminder not to put dumb shit in my guestbook or your ip is getting leaked. most of you are normal so im not worried about it. anyways i wrote my essay and its ok i guess. its hard to write a good essay when its not something i care about. still working on the poem library, also just not feeling passionate abt it rn. i've got onboarding today and hopefully can hang out with my girlfriend tonight at the basketball game.
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2/26/26 10:28 AM icon border

i changed the logo (: i think i won't delete the vector one, since i might find a place for it, but i like the simple cd one, it's cleaner and cuter. vector was fun to make but not my favorite looks-wise. it one in like a 60 something to 40 something percent for votes. i counted my girlfriend's opinion as three votes because i like her three times as much as you guys, sorry. she's just super duper freaking awesomesauce. anyways onboarding got rescehduled again, that sucks, but site traffic has seen a significant increase. the visitor counter on the homepage ive seen is kinda buns, my actual hit count when i look at the site's stats are way higher. either way thank you for the interaction, and as much as i hate begging, if you really love club bugg, it would mean a lot to the site's future if you donated a dollar! if i collected a total of five dollars a month, i could build a custom music player, get a custom domain name, improve the chatbox, add more to the site, use abobe fonts with my increased bandwidth, etc etc! obviously don't donate if you're eating like a meager mouse every night, but if you can spare a dollar, anything would help! one day my goal is to get my own domain so i can learn backend, seo, etc etc, stuff i can't do with neocities. anyways my shameless begging session is over. as usual, much love to my lurkers, have a silly day :P!!


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3/1/26 5:18 PM icon border

spring is coming! and i had my girlfriend over! and we made brownies and watched shrek! then i walked her home! my life is great!


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3/2/26 8:22 AM icon border

i NEED it to be springtime right freaking NOW its cold and stupid ): !!!! i gotta practice tonight, one for a guaranteed solo, two for a possible but unlikely but maybe solo, three for just excersises. i also need to fill out the lesson scholarship application. ill do that today. i didn't write in here about saturday, but i had fun (: me, twin, ivan, and two other dudes went out to film for jowen's video. i brought the camcorder and camera, and it was very fun. im considering buying my own camcorder because i really liked recording and playing around with it. fun!! :D


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3/5/26 7:57 PM icon border

too tired to write, just wanted to log that the site is back up. mwah.


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3/8/26 6:16 PM icon border

im having an awful day. i had to come back to the sh. everyone's being loud. i feel like i suck at everything. and for some reason, everytime i let anyone other than me cut my hair, they give me the same fuckass bob or some shitty little pixie cut. and both make me look ugly and like a girl.


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3/9/26 8:18 AM icon border

hey so its not actually that bad :D i was way overreacting, plus today is good! im putting press ons on owen next period. instead of slowen, i will now call him howen. cuz like. hes a young ho now. get it? no? ok. but i also get to see my super awesome swagtastic magnificent girlfriend which makes me so jolly (: !!!!!! yay! happy day for bugg.


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3/11/26 8:17 AM icon border

so how the freak do you telll if someone is upset in general or upset at you? and what does one do in either of these situations? i feel really dumb and unhelpful rn. besides that, we got rita's last night and i got cherry. yummy. im working on a page for design 101, and i got permission to host it on a personal domain, so it'll be on here! as usual it's gonna be unlinked till i like how it's looking, so stay tuned or whatever! mwah.


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3/13/26 10:22 AM icon border

hello hello hello! i am having a jolly day. yesterday was SUPER DUPER evil, but im much happier today. im not sad about the transphobic girls because they are loser bitches and i am a swag dude. i am awesomesauce and they are nothingburgers. im so happy!!


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3/15/26 9:22 AM icon border

no updates until my suffering and agony subsides sorry


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3/18/26 10:22 AM icon border

hey im alive!!! and they let me out of the health center!!! yippeeeee!! i get to see my pretty girlfriend today and im so excited! my fever early broke tuesday morning, but then came back. it finally was gone by yesterday afternoon. when i got there it was 104.2 !! i thought i was totally dying. im alive though!!!!! yayyyy!


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3/19/26 11:15 AM icon border what's up guys ): my lungs and chest hurt rlly bad rn. probs flu related but it sucks. i couldnt play my instrument in band today. not fun. all medical did was give me ibprofen (spelling?) and applesauce. it helped a bit but not much. i'm just happy i get to code for a grade. i added a little css animation to make a tooltip pop up on the nav icons in the new page, and i love it so much. i might add it elsewhere on my site in my free time since it's just so cute!! it'd make a cute speech bubble, i think. which gives me loads of ideas!!!! let me think...... border
3/23/26 12:31 PM icon border ughhhh! had to break a lot of links today. it's gonna be such a pain putting them all back. i just commented them out to keep anything questionable off my site since im using certain parts for an assignment. i guess the blog link is still on the homepage, and i wont take that off for the three people that read my gay little blog. so if my teacher is that invested in my digital diary, she could find it, i suppose. theres nothing bad on here, but i didn't wanna advertise this page, even if it's really cute. border
3/25/26 8:23 AM icon border
hello!!! im going to be adding some javascript things to the site, hopefully. its gonna be super frustrating because i actually suck at js, but i wanna learn and get better. unfortunantly its not nearly as fun as html and css, so its hard to want to learn. ive been doing freeCodeCamp and stuff and looking at lots of tuts, but its honestly just so boring. js is not fun. die die die js. ):
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3/26/26 8:15 AM icon border
hello guys. today is sad. i didn't play very well in quintet which makes me sad. then i dropped my trumpet and everyone hates me now which makes me really sad. then my friend got mad at me which made me more sad. i feel like a super stupid idiot guy. at least i can go home tommorrow and not tak to anyone except my dog. i might cook him a chicken breast because he is such a good baby and deserves a little treat sometimes. i wanna go home and pet my dog. that would make me happy and less sad. i love my dog.
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3/27/26 12:59 PM icon border
they are satan. i pray a meteor comes and blows them to smithereens.
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3/30/26 8:19 AM icon border
hey guys!!!!! im so jolly!! i got to go home, make soup, and pet ozzy! ozzy is my dog. he's one years old and an australian shepherd. i am so happy! i get to go home again soon! and i saw my awesome girlfriend today!!! yipeee! hooray!!! huzzah!!!! yahooo!1! my life is so awesomesaucem!!!
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4/1/26 8:21 AM icon border
hiiii!!! its spring break day!!! yippeeee!
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4/13/26 8:23 AM icon border
hello hello hello!! im back! my spring break was super duper lovely! i cooked some soup and cleaned my whole house! i also got to have an easter egg hunt! i also got my motorcycle permit!!! yippeee!!!! ive gotta look for a motorcycle now! im thinking of either a honda supercub or a honda grom! yayyyyy! and also since teams chat got cut off, feel free to use the cbox. love you guys!!
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4/21/26 8:25 AM icon border
today SUCKS ):<<<<<< everything is EVIL and i hate EVERYTHING. my student home is out of coffee, my hair looks bad, my socks feel weird, people in band are mean, and i suck at my instrument. and my trumpet hates me and spewed black oil on me so i was late to class trying to clean up, and i didnt have time to eat breakfast. and i made so many mistakes in quintet today. when professor man comes he will hate me, just like my sectionmate hates me and probably my band director too. my life is POOP!!! and i am very sad and angry. i am going to unleash my laser beam of hatred upon this cruel world as punishment for all the sadness they have cast upon my once jovial heart. nobody will be spared from the photon beam of my frustration. and i am not even allowed to tell my best friend because he is married to the rascal that torments me.

to clarify i do not have a laser nor do i plan to fry anybody. i am just having an awful day.
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4/22/26 8:19 AM icon border
we reached 8000 views!! yayyy!!!! im pretty happy today despite having a very evil day yesterday. my houseparents are def getting fired once i tell the HLA abt this!!!! yayyyy!!!! anyways i made brownies for my awesome gorjus girlfriend !!! shes the goat i wish i could make her infinity brownies...
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4/23/26 10:46 AM icon border
ive entirely given up. i dont enjoy playing the trumpet anymore. its impossible to when every time i make a mistake they're always pointing it out. when i succeed even the slightest bit they're right there to point out what i couldve done bette or try to sabotage me. i can't bring myself to just play anymore without stressing out about the slightest imperfections in my playing. ive choked everytime we rehearse the solo, not because i don't know it. i'm a competent player. but how can i do well when the poke me, critisize me, try to break my focus, and then yell at me when i mess up. i finally told them to just leave me alone, and they couldnt even give me that. i told the teacher i dont want the solo anymore. its not worth them trying to psych me out everytime. if they wanted to bully me out of it i guess theyve gotten what they want now. they've taken all the enjoyment out of band. they've made my best friend so distant. they've taken away all my confidence in playing. they're graduating this year but i don't even feel relieved. i just don't want to play anymore. they've ruined everything for me. i cant even be mad at my friend but i feel so stupid. i shouldve told them to rot in hell when it started in sixth grade. i can't begin to understand why they've done this, but they've succeeded. i give up.
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4/24/26 10:38 AM icon border
i hope you guys liked knowing me because it's WRAPS. they are going to EVISCERATE me. my friends reported them for bullying. im so dead. im really afraid this impact my friendship with my friend who's dating them. it's over for bugg. love you guys. put me in the miku themed coffin when they get me pls.
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4/27/26 8:21 AM icon border
yayyyy! its the best day ever!!! my lovely girlfriend made me cookies and put them in a supercute box she painted to look like an alien. AND I LOVE ALIENS!!! shes so sweet she's just absolutely made my day. she knew i was in the depths of doom and gloom rn, so she made them for me to make me a bit jollier. it has very muched worked because i feel so awesome silly superstar rn. i made her a little bunny out of air dry clay but i feel like my gift was so lame in comparison (T-T) but everyday im so happy to see her and im very grateful to have her in my life. we got a clue from our band directtors about next year's marching show, plus my performances on friday and sunday went very well !! friday i had a lot of fun, even though i had to be around my aformentioned antagonizer. i played very well and had almost no major mistakes. i think i played with good sound and i had a lot of fun too. it's not very often anymore that i just have fun playng and feel like im making a beautiful sound, but it's small things like that the keep me from quitting. and after 6 more weeks it'll be more good than bad. it is a good day today. im feeling much better.

footnote: i'm trying to find in my heart not to extend my anger with them onto my friend. he's unaware and i can't fault him for what he doesnt know, and that i won't tell him. (not that i could tell him if i even wanted to, but it is what it is.) six weeks will be short enough that i can just let it pass without telling him. ive dealt with them since sixth grade, and they're almost gone. friendships will always ebb and flow. i can hope we stay friends when he graduates, but some things will come and go regardless of how i feel about it. i'll be alright regardless. border
4/30/26 9:22 AM icon border
hi hi! im killing the poem page and making a new one! i will also link the youtube and discord on the homepage as well. hopefully soon i can fix the links once my assignment im hosting on here is finished and graded. dress up is still a work in progress!
and besides all that work related stuff, i am DYING of allergies. blech. border
5/1/26 8:22 AM icon border
it's the first day of my favorite month! yipeee! also slowens discord is up and running which is super awesome! the poetry page is also going very well! im in the process of styling and then compiling all the works i want in there. very fun!
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5/4/26 12:37 AM icon border
my nose is runny and everything feels irritating. bad day.
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5/6/26 9:15 AM icon border
yayyy!! i got my github and vs code to word w neocities :3 im so happy, and also i installed new themes for vs code for a pink editor and also rainbow indents. so cute!! i also installed auto close tags because i have it turned on for neocities and im prone to forgetting when it's turned off! lazy? maybe... but it works well for me!
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5/11/26 8:25 AM icon border
waow waow waow!!!! 10k views on the site!! im pleasantly suprised that my site has gained some traction!!! im taking suggestions on whta to build next in celebration, so lmk what you wanna see! i obvi will continue current porjects but also wanna get some inspo from the ppl who support my site :D im very grateful to everyone who reads my little blogs, writes in the cbox and guestbook, and generally interacts w my silly little passion project! im beyond thrilled that people have taken an interest in my site. also, the british have found my site! i rlly like the flag counter up on the homepage, its fun to see where my visitors are from. overall, ty very much guys!! mwahh <3 !
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5/13/26 8:25 PM icon border
i am sooooo happy! i had a performance today and it went very well. i had fun and they even gave me a little snack. and for band we will go to dorney park! i have never been there so i am very excited and i will hang out with 2 friends. also i go to the zoo tommorow!! and some of my flowers sprouted so i gave them to my wonderful girlfriend.
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5/14/26 8:23 AM icon border
hooray! what a very jolly day it will be. state testing is over now which makes me more jolly because i hate state testing. and i am still working on a gift for my girlfriend who i love very much. i will ask her today if she wants to hang out this weekend. also dorney park soon!!! i am so excited. and last nights performance was pretty good too. overall a good time for bugg. i hope the universe continues to smile on me because life is infinity swag and awesome rn!!! yippee yahoo hooray!!!!! also my teacher gave us sourdough and let us try his wife's jellies she made and i tried the dandelion jelly and the violet jelly. they were so yum. i am so mad that my fatass classmates ate all the rest of the bread so now there is no more for bugg. it was so good.
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5/15/26 9:13 AM icon
border helloooooooo!! i am happy today. got to give my girlfriend a gift which is one of my favorite things to do. i love giving her presents. also its friday!! and dorney park is tommorow! im so jolly and excited yippeee!! my sub in chemistry is kinda rude and implied that i wasn't doing work and was copying my class mates answers, which was not true, and that made me kinda mad. she also stayed in my space for like a whole two inutes. yuck ! i do not enjoy being withing close proximity of strangers. only 4 weeks left of school tho! im anticipating summer so much rn. i need to be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee grrRRgGRrRgggRAAAaaHHHHHHHHHhhHHHHH! border
5/19/26 9:09 AM icon border
owie owie owie. i have the worst headache in my right eye. it hurts so bad and its so hot out. bad bad bad.
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5/21/26 9:09 AM icon border
im so nervous its making me nauseous. we're practicing taps today and if i mess it up, its over. they still might kick me off. and if they leave me on and i mess it up during the assembly, im dead. everything will be over. no chance at seciton leader, no chance at solos ever again, nobody will ever respect me again. im scared
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5/26/26 8:18 AM icon border good morning!!! friday went alright other than a minor mistake but ulrich said i was ok so im ok. i got my phone back too!! it got taken bc i threw coffee at my brother which is a long story short but basically he deserved it so whatevs. anyways i got to make cookies for my gorgeous girlfriend which brings me immense joy. very jolly day! border
5/28/26 8:22 AM icon border
i havent updated much and i feel bad about it, but im drowing in work and feel worse and worse everyday. i don't even want to talk about it because teven hat feels too feminine. im not so dense that i can't realize that's just my own internalized sexism, but i doesnt make me hate it any less. everything i do feels feminine. i wondered this morning if my socks were girly. i hate everything so much. i feel like im a dumb alien in everything, especially with my friends. i feel like an idiot. i feel like everyone's just barely tolerating me. im so nauseous.
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6/2/26 10:55 AM icon border hello little babbies! im feeling much better lately. while i was gone, i was working on a project! the logic is MOSTLY done, with some minor node counting issues, but if u wanna check out my fish classification joke, out /fish on the homepage's address. its nowhere near done, it has zero styling, but its a sneak peak for my more dedicated lurkers. summer updates might get sparse again, but i promise i wont neglect you guys all summer and if i have time i ,might make an art gallery to post here to feed u guys more content. sorry its boring rn, ive been focused on sorting out a gift for my gf's birthday, riley if you're reading this DONT TELL HER and also finals are frying me and im only writing when i can, which isnt often! but know i love and cherish you all dearly. and happy pride my beloveds. mwahhhhhhh !
also i got a massive bag of peanut mnms and im munching. so jolly. i love being a greasy american chud. border
6/4/26 12:20 PM icon its been a mostly good day! ive gotten mostly all my schoolwork done for the year so im a tad bit bored, but ive got the fish project and other html and css stuff to work on, as well as the ever expanding task of the animal database. what a pain but at least it keeps me busy, right?
on another note, the year's almost over. im dreading my friends graduating. i think itll only get worse every year. im gonna go tree climbing with my friend this weekend which is fun, but we're running out of time. im hanging out with some friends and my gf at the pool today which is nice, but they'll be working on hw while we're there and i dont like swimming so idk what i'll do. i ought to start packing for the summer. i'm putting it of as long as i can but im running out of time. i feel like that's kind of a motif in my life rn, im always running out of time for something, and as soon as one deadline hits, another starts rushing toward me. i love my friends and i love my gf and i'm going to hate missing them all. not the best experience ): it'll pass and i'll see most of them again next year, i suppose. i feel like all the friends i wanna see the most are the ones leaving forever, though. this mini blog entry has gotten much too long, so i'll shut up.
6/8/26 2:35 PM

i survived the neocities outage of 6/5/25!!!!

i thought my school had banned neocities and i cried so hard....
hi hi hi little babbies! it is a good day! i was able to give my gf her birthday present (: and!! and!! and!! i got 99/100 on a final i didnt study for at all! i havent studied for a single final but ive been getting 90s on all of them so clearly im gods favorite (angela if you're reading this im joking; im not being insensitive.) so im pretty happy! i also bought some snacks this weekend that i got to eat today while working on my fish project. i couldnt wish for a better day!!! chudmaxxing, coding, and eating the yummy snacks and drinking the yummy drinks. i am so jolly!! my weekend wasnt bad at all either. i worked thursday and saturday, so i should make maybe 70 bucks after tax? and im not a big spender so that should be enough for fun money for vacation. yay! and also!!! major update!! i bought my first binder! its being shipped today so itll likely be here by the end of the week. i will provide a review including brand name and price, alongside my reccomendation and thoughts. IM SO HYPE IM GONNA BE SO BOY!!!!!!!!!!!! WAOOOOWWWWW!
6/10/26 10:13 AM hello! i feel compelled to write about my favorite pokemon. my all time favorite has got to be hariyama. i can't really explain why. it was my partner in scarlet and i just grew attached to it over the 100+ hours i spent playing the game. mine is named big bonk and i love him sm. im absolutely heartbroken i cant transfer him to legends ZA. my next favorite is gothitelle. ive been hunting her shiny FOREVERRRRRRRRR and i still havent found it. it only spawns in one spot in scarlet so ive been hatching hundreds of eggs and have yet to get it. i might just have to give up on her but the navy is so cute T-T. next is gardevoir and gallade. i have a shiny alpha gallade and hes a cutie. and gardevoir's mega is simple but nice, it makes her look like she's in a flowy gown. then this is a basic answer, but lucario. my little tank. he's never failed me ^-^! i keep a charizard on my za team too just cuz. i also like sharpedo but recently retired him from my team along with croconaw so i could have xerneas and yveltal on my team. heartbreaking. pokemon rant out + i love you hariyama.
6/10/26 1:40 PM
im running on maximum irritation. my hair is my face, nobody ever tells me anything, github fucking SUCKS and i dont wanna go on those fuckass class trips. and fuck github. i hate github. and vs code. shittiest ui's known to MAN, even though they're some of the most widely used sites for devs and programmers but whatever you'll figure it out! a girl i know wated help making a site and i made her a layout and tried to get her vs code and github linked with an action to allow her to push to neocities, but im giving up and telling her to use neocities editor bc the stupid yml bullshit never works. i hate how little resources there are on how to fix these problems. because you're just supposed to just be born and know everything ever abt cs and if you don't i guess ur just fucking retarded!! i can't stand the anti beginner elistist snobby FUCKERS this community worships like genius gods. i hate github and i hate vs code.
6/20/26 12:43 PM hi guys! its finally summer vacation. ive got some cleaning jobs lned up, washed the dog today, going grocery shopping either today or tmmrw, etc etc. very busy. on top of all of this, i need to practice trumpet and do my lessons, do summer hw, walk the dog everyday, and also try to continue working out. super busy! so if the updates get sparse here and there, don't worry, im alive, just busy!
6/26/26 haiiii! im alive and making money. oughhh i lovvve having monies to spend. i had work today, then have 2 houses tmmrw too. summer going well, very happy. plus i love my gf. huzzah!!! nothing bad can happen to me!!1!!
7/9/26 hi hi!! updates have neen a bit scarce ik, im srry! ive been so busy with work, but i have lots of money now to buy peanut mnms with!! huzzah! things are good with my friends and my girlfriend. my beautiful baby doggy is good as well. i finally remembered to post my fish checker on insta. ive been practicing trumpet quite a bit, but i need to work on schoolwork too!! im falling so behind... ive also drawn a bit and bought tomodachi life which has been very fun to play. rn im watching witch hat atelier and playing feed your teto on roblox. life couldnt be better!
7/13/26 girlfriend broke up with me. not much to say but summer is bad now.
7/22/26 its a very rough period of my life and updates wont be regular for even longer. im sorry but everything keeps getting worse with my family and my health and my relationships so im focusing on surviving for a bit. much love my babbies.
7/30/26 10:15 PM hi guys. ik a lot has happened and i havent explained well. i try to maintain a happy silly vibe for the site but things irl really suck. the universe has not been very kind to me this summer. there was issues with my brother like always that resulted in me couch hopping for a while. i had to get another job. i had to block a lot of my good friends. ive been falling behind in all sorts of goals and work and projects and practice. ive been getting sick more often. it might be time to consider going back on meds. i can feel the slump coming back but i cant afford to deal with it right now, i thank everyone once again for supporting my project. next year i have to learn python. ive decided i will go into bioinformatics as my career. at least my brain will save me! they cannot take at least this from me. goodbye and goodnight my loves.
7/31/26 11:07 PM hi. things are getting incrementally better. ive gotten more work which means more money. bought some nice headphones. tommorrow is my last full day at home for summer break which is a bit dissapointing, but its alright. im not as anxious abt facing all the ppl ive cut off. im ok with it all rn. i didnt get as much done this summer as i planned but im ok with that too. i have my ap work i gotta hit the gas pedal on getitng done, but other than that its majority ok for now. im trying not to think/care too much abt what everyone thinks. its my shitty life and my shitty blog. still might ask to go back on meds just bc the anxiousness has been making me so so nauseous and i feel like im losing it. but its getting a little more ok every day. tablespoon!!
8/4/26 9:09 PM im back at school, but i dont start classes for another week and a half. things are actually getting kind of more ok rn. i have yet to see anyone i dont want to see, which ik is inevitable but that's a later me problem. im back to writing code and practicing and talking to my friends and going outside and eating and drinking and sleeping properly. as hard as things get, these are all very important and must be done!
as for band, things are seeming well. i wont know if im section leader or not until next week so thats a little exciting, a little nerve wracking. i think part of maturing is learning to be ok with myself regardless if i meet certain goals or standards i set for myeself, or even if i fall a little short! almost a month a go i thought i had nothing left but my career. things have improved significantly since then. im not so concerned with how randoms perceive me. i think im ok if some people dont like me. i dont always like me! this is ok. i know i am smart and kindhearted, i know i am at my core a joyful person. i know i am capable of happiness and success without somebody by my side always. even without a partner, i have friends i love so dearly and the wonderful thing is they love me just as much! though ive lost some friends, there are infinitely more to gain. everything passes, everything improves.certified tablespoon moment <33!
8/5/26 7:44 PM ad astra per aspera. there have been many times lately where ive felt too horrible to do much, and many times id rather do nothing at all. it would be much easier to lay down and accept my loss. but alas! i know i have a kind and joyful spirit. as hard as things get i will carry on and remain joyful, if only on my website. i am happy! i experience bouts of sadness but i am happy nonetheless. tablespoon, tablespoon, they cannot take my brain and they cannot take my joy! much love to my friends. i am filled to the brim with nothing but love for you all.
8/15/26 2:01 PM it only ever gets worse. every time i update something worse has happened to me. they have fired me from one of my jobs. i contacted hr. they said there was no reason listed. i was fired for no reason. i was never late, never put of assigned area, never left early, always did what i was supposed to. it only ever gets worse. i cannot even day ad astra per aspera or tablespoon today. it only ever gets worse. most of my friends have graduated or have wronged me. i am left with only a few but they seem to enjoy each other's company more than mine. even at my best i am nobody's favorite. it only ever gets worse. i have 10 dollars left. i will eat toast today. it only ever gets worse.
7/13/26 girlfriend broke up with me. not much to say but summer is bad now.
7/22/26 its a very rough period of my life and updates wont be regular for even longer. im sorry but everything keeps getting worse with my family and my health and my relationships so im focusing on surviving for a bit. much love my babbies.
7/30/26 10:15 PM hi guys. ik a lot has happened and i havent explained well. i try to maintain a happy silly vibe for the site but things irl really suck. the universe has not been very kind to me this summer. there was issues with my brother like always that resulted in me couch hopping for a while. i had to get another job. i had to block a lot of my good friends. ive been falling behind in all sorts of goals and work and projects and practice. ive been getting sick more often. it might be time to consider going back on meds. i can feel the slump coming back but i cant afford to deal with it right now, i thank everyone once again for supporting my project. next year i have to learn python. ive decided i will go into bioinformatics as my career. at least my brain will save me! they cannot take at least this from me. goodbye and goodnight my loves.
7/31/26 11:07 PM hi. things are getting incrementally better. ive gotten more work which means more money. bought some nice headphones. tommorrow is my last full day at home for summer break which is a bit dissapointing, but its alright. im not as anxious abt facing all the ppl ive cut off. im ok with it all rn. i didnt get as much done this summer as i planned but im ok with that too. i have my ap work i gotta hit the gas pedal on getitng done, but other than that its majority ok for now. im trying not to think/care too much abt what everyone thinks. its my shitty life and my shitty blog. still might ask to go back on meds just bc the anxiousness has been making me so so nauseous and i feel like im losing it. but its getting a little more ok every day. tablespoon!!
8/4/26 9:09 PM im back at school, but i dont start classes for another week and a half. things are actually getting kind of more ok rn. i have yet to see anyone i dont want to see, which ik is inevitable but that's a later me problem. im back to writing code and practicing and talking to my friends and going outside and eating and drinking and sleeping properly. as hard as things get, these are all very important and must be done!
as for band, things are seeming well. i wont know if im section leader or not until next week so thats a little exciting, a little nerve wracking. i think part of maturing is learning to be ok with myself regardless if i meet certain goals or standards i set for myeself, or even if i fall a little short! almost a month a go i thought i had nothing left but my career. things have improved significantly since then. im not so concerned with how randoms perceive me. i think im ok if some people dont like me. i dont always like me! this is ok. i know i am smart and kindhearted, i know i am at my core a joyful person. i know i am capable of happiness and success without somebody by my side always. even without a partner, i have friends i love so dearly and the wonderful thing is they love me just as much! though ive lost some friends, there are infinitely more to gain. everything passes, everything improves.certified tablespoon moment <33!
8/5/26 7:44 PM ad astra per aspera. there have been many times lately where ive felt too horrible to do much, and many times id rather do nothing at all. it would be much easier to lay down and accept my loss. but alas! i know i have a kind and joyful spirit. as hard as things get i will carry on and remain joyful, if only on my website. i am happy! i experience bouts of sadness but i am happy nonetheless. tablespoon, tablespoon, they cannot take my brain and they cannot take my joy! much love to my friends. i am filled to the brim with nothing but love for you all.
8/15/26 2:01 PM it only ever gets worse. every time i update something worse has happened to me. they have fired me from one of my jobs. i contacted hr. they said there was no reason listed. i was fired for no reason. i was never late, never put of assigned area, never left early, always did what i was supposed to. it only ever gets worse. i cannot even day ad astra per aspera or tablespoon today. it only ever gets worse. most of my friends have graduated or have wronged me. i am left with only a few but they seem to enjoy each other's company more than mine. even at my best i am nobody's favorite. it only ever gets worse. i have 10 dollars left. i will eat toast today. it only ever gets worse.
8/17/26 1:38 PM
hi hi hi. it's the first day of school! its been alright so far, nothing catastrophic. it could be better, but i could really say that about everything rn. its ok and thats good enough rn. for the time being i just need to coast. i only have 2 classes this semseter that will require me much effort, but next semester is much more work-heavy. i'm ok with that, since the harder i work the greater the reward will. be soon. i only have to grind a little longer and soon hs will be over, i'll only have to see the people i choose, everything will get better eventually. i know i have tendecy to catastrophize, but i truly believe i will end up ok. wonderful things are in store for me.
in other news, i've added quite a few new tidbits and doo dads to the site! among my favorites is the now playing tracer on the homepage. i made it myself!!! by myself i mean with lots of tears and stack overflow, but i'm rlly proud of it. it's my first time working with any sort of api so i learned a lot. IRL news? i applyed for another job, i finished decorating my bag, and im working on an art commission. yes, this does mean my commissions are reopened! ik i said its unlikely they'd ever open again, i lied! i spent my last dollars at mcdonalds and moeny's gettign tight. if things get any worse im going to have to cook and eat my roomate. spare her by commissioning me or cashapping me! much love babbies!
8/24/26 12:23 PM
unfortunately i have eaten my roomate. she is no more. in other news, i've recovered one friendship which makes me feel a lot better about everything right now. im not looking to recover any more, as i believe that chapter of my life has passed. HOWEVER i am looking to recover my money and employment status!! please consider sending me more comms! i will draw anything but nsfw! not because i'm a puritan, but more because i dont understand how boobies work. sorry guys.
i also got to see some of my friends that graduated! i was super excited and i feel a lot better. everything right now is going ok. i hope im not jinxing it. i don't really believe in that sort of thing but it seems like everytime i update you guys my mood has swug from one extreme to the other like an evil yo-yo. such is life! but yo-yos are fun and everyone loves them, so it's ok! i hope everyone thinks i'm fun and loves me!
8/25/26 1:34 PM
today is dull and feels odd but it's not bad enough to complain about! i got lots of work done at least which is always good. might try to work a bit on that new homepage if i dont have much hw. i've been drowning in school lately.
8/27/26 10:58 AM
its not a good day so far. im just in. Bd mood for no particular reason and i was late to class cuz my teacher let me out late and and then nobody would let me in the door and i had to wait like five minutes and my teacher gave me a tardy. bad day. but at least i got a smiley face henna on my hand! yay!
8/28/26
i cannot stand group work. i always get paired with some of the dimmest, dullest, and laziest people in the school. that aside, my day's ok. first game today! yay. might see my old graduated friends!! however not yay because one of my friends got me sick. blech.....
8/31/26 12:04 PM
we're gonna have a super awesome party with the best snacks and everybody's favorite activities and we're gonna play games and talk to each other and laugh at our super top secret inside jokes that you just wouldn't get so we'll never explain so you'll just have to stand there awkwardly but its fine cuz you're still invited i guess if you wanna come but you probably don't cuz it'll be loud and you don't know anybody and we won't bother to introduce you but it doesn't matter it's not like you have ZERO friends cuz we're still here so just stay home tonight and we'll keep saying we should hang out sometime but we never will and even if we do you probably don't wanna come you'll be bored because we're all coupled up and love each other so actually fuck you bugg stay home!!!! i love my friends.
9/2/26 12:31 PM
hi. its a bit better today. still swimming in schoolwork but i finished the new homepage and fixed my links. yay! also went back and put borders on all of these blog entries since ive been neglecting to do so for a few weeks. i'm trying to keep pushing through even though i don't feel great at all lately. applied for another job and will be going to an interview tonight. hope it all works out. my grades might dip but i'm going to try and do better. everything is hard rn so small sucessess are actually big successes rn! like today i played tennis even though i really really hate it. this is a success. it will get better! everything does eventually.
9/3/26 11:26 AM
whats up guys. it's a thursday but we have a football game bc the long weekend! im a little worried to do our show for the first time away, but i'm sure it'll end up ok. i got a new job yesterday! i'll be working retail at the same place i used to sweep at. i'm really happy to be getting some income again finally. not much else to say, which is usually a good thing. boring and good is better than interesting and bad.
9/4/26 9:07 AM
not having the best day. a lot of minor inconveniences that just stress me out. tommorrow will be better maybe. i hope so!
9/8/26 11:04 AM i hate to complain so much but oh my god does it ever stop getting worse. my older brother moved back in. he is the devil. its so awful. he is mean and aggressive. everything gets worse. trying to stay locked in on school and band but its so hard to focus or do anything when everything around me is just rotting. im trying rlly hard to focus.
9/9/26 2:53 PM ueuuefhfuhehfhuefuhfuehfghghfhghghghghghhghg brain dead head empty let me out eughghghghghghghghghghghghhghghghghghghghghgh :P
9/11/26 12:34 PM
things are not in fact getting better at all! it seems i cannot ad astra per aspera or tablespoon my way out of this one. as hard as i work i am always behind and as kind as i try to be i am nobody's favorite. i know logically it will pass and i will feel better in the spring, as the pattern has always gone, but it doesn't reassure me much in the moment. i havent been writing much at all. ive lost most my friends. i can't bring up enough motivation to write code. trying not to drown in school anf family is already too much. sorry guys. i promise im always trying, even if trying is all i can do.
work tmmrw though, so maybe i can get money and go to the store and buy something dumb to get a little dopamine. i wish i still had someone to spend it all on, though. the worst part is knowing i still had a chance and threw it out. as smart as people tell me i am i still will always feel like the stupidest person in the world. she was probably right to call me average.
9/14/26 10:51
sorry for complaining so much lately, my life is great actually!! my esteemed ex girlfriend and i are speaking once again and friends. i won't go into to much detail to protect her privacy, but yeah blessings upon blessings.
with that, im back to talking to all my old friends. i feel really great actually. i apologized to them all and they apologized for stuff too, its pretty ok rn.
things do in fact get better, as much as i love being a doomer fag and saying it never gets better. i tend to catastrophize a lotttttt. it always does get better. sometimes you just have to decide to make it better. i was doing it to myself tbh. lesson learned.
9/14/26 10:51
sorry for complaining so much lately, my life is great actually!! my esteemed ex girlfriend and i are speaking once again and friends. i won't go into to much detail to protect her privacy, but yeah blessings upon blessings.
with that, im back to talking to all my old friends. i feel really great actually. i apologized to them all and they apologized for stuff too, its pretty ok rn.
things do in fact get better, as much as i love being a doomer fag and saying it never gets better. i tend to catastrophize a lotttttt. it always does get better. sometimes you just have to decide to make it better. i was doing it to myself tbh. lesson learned.
9/17/26 8:46 AM
first and foremost, a smooch for everyone that still reads my stupid little blog on my gay little site. i appreciate your patience with my lack of updates and surplus of complaining.
i would've liked to go to homecoming i think. the timing isn't right though. i wouldnt have been able to go with the person i wanted to, so i'd suffer the loud noises and third wheeling of my friends for no particular reason. ive been there in years past ad even with my strongest noise cancellation method (the lood earplugs plus headphones playing white noise at full blast combo) was not enough to block out the loud noises. plus its crowded. i see couples making posters and giving gifts and i wish i didn't rui things though. if i can't go with her i'd really rather no go at all. i know im still going to get anxious about it the day of though. im trying to be normal about it as possible.
in other news, i start another new job sunday. i need to save up money for christmas. things will be better at christmas!!

ad astra per aspera.

9/18/26 11:05 AM i had a really bad migraine today. its mostly gone away but not fun. i know its becasue homecoming is coming up and im anxious. which is stupid because im not going. but i feel so stupid about everything. i never can come of with interesting things to talk about and i feel like my friends would be better off if i just didn't bother them at all anymore. i shouldn't complain since things are getting better but i still feel stupid.